Love & Hate – Chapter 1

Ever since I finish reading MXTX – Founder of Diabolism (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation), I have become a big fan of her. I love her writing and the character she creates.

I was finally able to finish reading Heaven’s Official Blessing (her third novel) and I totally love it. I mean, you have a devoted guy who loved for 800 years. But aside from her main couple, she tends to write side story that truly gut you in the heart. From Yi City arc (in Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) to the Fate/Revenge arc between the Shi brothers and He Xuan.

The side arc of Heaven’s Official Blessing was tragic, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had cry my heart out reading a novel. I literally was numb for a few days, unable to pick up the next chapter especially when I love the character (and was sort of rooting for them to be a couple too).

And so, to have my wish fulfill, I decided to write a fanfic devoted to them. It’s my first BL fanfic so forgive me if it is rusty or bad. Definitely feel free to comment with tips and pointer.


Loud chattering and laughter echoes outside the shrine as everyone were finally getting their filled on the promise of chicken leg that they did not bother to notice the disappearance of the main host. Feng Xin and Mu Qing continue to bicker with each other to even notice whereas Shi Qing Xuan had notice but did not say anything.

“Old Feng, where are you going?” one of the beggars ask.

Shi Qing Xuan holding his bowl of chicken noodle turn and laughingly said he wanted some alone time to enjoy the bowl and view of the village. He hobbles over to a large tree near the shrine, hiding behind it away from the view of the others. His smile fade as he places the bowl down on the grass, staring at it as he cradles his leg together.

It has been a year and half since, but the nightmare was still fresh in his mind each time he was alone. In the day, he was able to surround himself with people, chattering and laughing to bury his mind away from it but it becomes harder to do so in the silent of the night when he is alone. He had lost a person he thought was his best friend and his only family was taken horribly away from his very eyes. His brother had committed a grave crime. Admittedly at one point upon finding out the truth, he had truly hated his brother for doing what he did but, in the end, he was still his brother and only did what he did because of him.

If anyone were truly to be blame, it would be him. It was all his fault to begin with, that it all happened the way it did. If only he wasn’t born, none of it would happen. If only he never existed.

“Ge” he mumbles under his breath.

Just as the word leaves his mouth, the bowl of chicken noodle on the ground was forcefully knock several feet away, shattering to the ground. The pupil in his eyes shrank, his face blanched for a moment as he looks left and right, afraid to find that cold piercing eyes looking at him like that day. But there was nothing.

Heaving a sigh of relief, he tells himself that it must have been the wind. “Of course, he wouldn’t be here,” he thought. Ever since that day, they have never met again except for the incident at the Royal Capital. Even then, he was under the disguise as Hua Cheng. He didn’t know when or how long he was disguise as Hua Cheng but knew that he must have been there under Hua Cheng’s request. What other reason was there for him to show up at the Royal Capital? His resentment, his hatred ran deep towards Qing Xuan and his brother to the point that he wanted the brother to suffer both in life and death.

But can the same be said for Qing Xuan? Can he resent and hate him the same way after what had happen? Qing Xuan wanted to hate him but the person he hated more than anyone was himself. He was the true murderer to He Xuan, the true murderer to his brother. It all started because of him. If only he never existed.

Shi Qing Xuan sighed and stand up, hobbling back to the shrine when he suddenly paused midway, sensing a presence nearby, eyes’ piercing at him. He turns back at the direction of the tree to see far past it, near the lake a presence of a lady. Blue dress as crystal clear as the blue ocean, skin as white as snow. Her beauty is as striking as Qing Xuan was in his lady form, yet she gives off an eerily smile chilling him to the bone. But in just a blink of an eye, she disappears. Thinking it was his imagination, he turns back and put on a happy face once more as he joins the joyous crowd at the shrine, indulging in the delicious food that they did not need to beg or fight for.


At the Nether Water Manor, He Xuan appear like a wisp of smoke, his face somber with a cold expression that brings shiver of fear to one’s heart. He walks to the alter of his loved one yet his eyes stare coldly like piercing dagger was the head offering in front of them. The head of Shi Wu Du that he had ripped in front of Shi Qing Xuan much to his horror.

Remembering Shi Qing Xuan offering, he clutches his fist angrily. He wasn’t sure if he was angry at Shi Qing Xuan or if he was angry at himself. He had taken his revenge and the Shi brothers are no longer his concern. He had told Shi Qing Xuan that they will never cross path again, but still come and check up on him from time to time.

He had given the brothers two option and since Shi Wu Du had taken the second option, he had kept his promises not to mess with Shi Qing Xuan’s fate. Yet who knew that Shi Qing Xuan would still end up the same way. “Even if he suffers, I will not let you win.” He Xuan thought as he stares at Shi Wu Du, remembering how he tries to take Shi Qing Xuan’s life so that both brothers can die together. “His life belongs to me.”


As night fall, Shi Qing Xuan and the rest of the beggars return to the Royal Capital, taking residence in the deserted temple of the Wind and Water God, stomach full and satisfy. No matter where he goes, he would either return to the temple or find another deserted temple of the Wind and Water God to stay for the night. It was the only place of comfort for him, the only place that he felt near his brother.

Shi Qing Xuan lay on the ground under the deserted statues of his brother and himself, pulling the hays over to keep him warm as the temperature drops at night. Although he is now a mortal, it did not seem like the cold affected him as much as the others even during winter nor was he probe to being sick like them.

Yet tonight, it was exceptionally cold to the point that even Shi Qing Xuan couldn’t bear with it, feeling like he was sleeping in a pile of freezing snow and his body was slowly freezing over. The cold engulfs his mind, making him wonder if he is going to finally see his brother. “Ge…” he mumbles under his breath.

“Lord Wind Master…” the voice whisper in his ear, their cold breath making his hair stand.

Shi Qing Xuan eyes pop wide open but immediately shrink in shock the moment he sees who was calling him. Earlier, he thought it was just his imagination seeing a figure at the lake but now he realizes that it wasn’t it at all. Staring at him is the young lady, blue dress as crystal clear as the blue ocean, skin as white as snow.

“Who…who are you,” he asks, “What do you want with me?”

“Don’t be afraid, my lord. I just need Lord Wind Master to come with me and help me with a favor,” she said, her finger brush slightly on his cheek.

A chill runs up his body the moment she brushes his cheek. He looks around to see the others shivering in their sleep and realize that she is the cause to the cold. She is a demon.

He chuckles hiding his nervousness. “I am no longer a Wind God but just a mere mortal. Powerless. What could I possibly help you with?”

“My lord does not need to worry. I can guarantee that my lord would be able to help me with this favor.”

“And if…if I refuse?”

“Then their death is of my lord’s doing,” she said unsympathetically, making the place feel much colder than it should be. “Or…,” she pauses, an eerily smile creeping up on her face, making him feel chill down to his spine, “Does my lord not wish to get his brother’s head back?”

She lifts her hand up, extending her palm out to him, waiting for his decision. She knew it was a bargain that he would not refuse. Holding his hand, she helps him up and the two disappear into the night.

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