Gone Too Soon

Sulli (Choi Jin-Ri)
March 29, 1994 – October 14, 2019

I woke up yesterday to see a friend’s post about Sulli’s passing. I was in disbelief, not believing how legit the site was, thinking how cruel for someone to come up with such a death hoax. But as the morning goes by, more and more news article rolls in, from CNN to SOOMPI, and the reality finally sink in.

My heart sink reading article after article of her passing. And even so, somewhere in my heart, I was still in disbelief that she was gone. Sulli, who was making a comeback as a MC in Reply Night and through my favorite drama Hotel del Luna, has taken her life and left us too soon.

Somewhere in my mind, the memories of Jong-hyun still feel new. And now, it was another goodbye. I still did not want to belief it at all. I want to close my eyes, hoping to wake up tomorrow with lies.

But today, the news remained. The reality was still the same as yesterday. Sulli has truly left us. Just like Jong-hyun, still too young yet gone too soon.

Articles after articles putting depression into accountability for her suicide but can we place all blame on depression for it or the people and society who contributed to it, who always scrutinize her no matter what she does? Who had hurt and scar her mental state to the point of exhaustion?

The anonymity of social media has created monsters that had hurt her, pushing her into a corner with no escape.

“Why is she like that?”
“She’s so lazy to wear bra, attention wh*re”
“What an attention seeker!”
“She talks like a middle schooler or high schooler that isn’t smart.”
“You left the group after getting caught up in dating rumors and came back in dramas, CFs, and variety without any responsibility for your actions. You got to this point with your face alone.” 

Negative comments. Malicious comment. Hateful comments that bears no responsibility under the anonymity of the internet, that slowly kills her inside. Malicious and hateful comment that makes her fearful of people, question her existence and why she is hated so, why she must suffer the hurt of others’ words.

And even now, upon her death, netizen do not want to take accountability for indirectly causing the death of a young soul, but rather shift their blames from her depression to her company to her ex-boyfriend. Malicious and negative comments to the ex-boyfriend, wishing he “die.”

We had lost Jong-hyun and now we have lost Sulli. Just how much more lives must be lost for people to stop with their negative and malicious hate, for them to realize that words can destroy a person’s state of mind. Words can cut deep. It can make them bleed, and worse of all, words can kill people.

As utterly sad as it is, all I can wish for is that Sulli can be free from the suffering she had endure, smiling radiantly without pain, and be truly at peace.

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